Pressing the brake

I’m struggling a bit on the sharing front here on the old bloggy-o.  I’m pretty much an open book, I think you would agree. I have tons of issues, and I’m generally up front about them, and when they concern other people I try to gloss over the details. But now my kids are of an age where shit is getting real, and I’m questioning my capacity as a human to deal with them, and trying to work all that out. Usually part of my process would be to post here, to share, and get feedback.

But is that fair to my kids? Cause they definitely have their own shit that’s started to develop, and I don’t feel I have a right broadcasting that. But these things, and how I feel about them, are so tightly woven through my self-work that it’s hard to blur them out and still get to the root of the issues as they relate to me.

I’ve seen other bloggers take steps back from sharing their kids’ stuff when they reached school age, and always wondered why. Now I get it. No amount of “anonymity” that I give them here really amounts to much. I just erased a very long post about something we’re going through right now because shit if I didn’t ask myself “what if I was reading this about myself, written by my mom?” If I post about something shitty they are doing, or something difficult, I’m sure once they are internet-aged they’re gonna be real pissed about it. And I don’t need to add that to the list. The very, very long list.